Tom MacKay of MacKay NLP Solutions believes we can and that’s what we discussed during this Business901 podcast. Neuro Linguistic Programming (usually called NLP) helps you improve your business, relationships, sporting or artistic performance by teaching you proven strategies that work. People waste a lot of time doing things that don’t get them the results that they want and deserve. NLP consists of techniques and principles modeled from outstanding experts throughout the world – so you can learn what really works right from the start!
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Transcription of the Podcast
Joe Dager: Welcome, everyone. This is Joe Dager, the host of Business901 Podcast. With me today is Tom MacKay, the founder of MacKay Solutions. Tom is a master trainer of NLP, and one of the most respected NLP trainers in the UK. Could you finish that introduction and tell me more about MacKay Solutions?
Tom MacKay: I’m Tom MacKay, and I’ve been running NLP training in the UK for, probably, about 20 years. I train the general public in how to use NLP in their life, in sales and marketing. Also do a lot of work in companies and organizations, using NLP in sales, marketing, and leadership.
Joe: How did you get first involved with NLP?
Tom: I first got involved in NLP when I was studying psychology at college. I was doing a degree in psychology, and I was really fascinated about how the mind worked. And two people I bumped into happened to do NLP, and said it was this really incredible set of techniques and principles. And I went in a few courses, and it really changed my life. So, it’s had a huge impact on me, in terms of setting up my own business, giving me confidence. And since then, I started running courses for organizations and individuals. And I found it’s one of the most effective set of techniques that I’ve come across for personal and corporate change.
Joe: Well, I remember NLP, it’s Neuro?linguistic programming, is what it stands for. But I remember that quite a few years ago. But to me, here in the States, I just haven’t seen that much about it lately. Is it just because I’m in the States? Has it really flourished in the UK? Or is it something that I’m just not seeing?
Tom: I’m not sure. In the UK, it’s really flourishing. Most organizations in the UK are talking about NLP. Certainly, in pretty much every company I’m in communication with, every HR department talks about NLP, and how useful it is in organizations. I don’t know why it’s kind of faded out a bit in the States. But certainly most people I talk to in the States, it doesn’t seem to be such a big thing there, now. I think really what’s happened is, it became incredibly popular some time ago, in the States. And the techniques there are incredibly useful, but the techniques got integrated with lots of other business training. I think it’s still taught, but I think a lot of the time, it’s not taught under the umbrella term of NLP.
Joe: Can you explain what NLP is, the elevator definition of it?
Tom: As you said NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming, which, basically, to break it down, is, “neuro” is to do with neurology and the senses. Basically, how we take in information from the outside world, what we see, what we hear, what we feel, what we taste, and what we smell. The “linguistic” is all about the language. How we communicate information to other people, but also to ourselves. And the programming is the sets of patterns that we run. So, really, everything that we do, there’s a strategy behind it. Whether it’s in terms of marketing, sales, making decisions, buying. Behind all of these things is a set process. If we can start to understand these processes, we can get really excellent results.
NLP really came from modeling excellence. It’s about how you can find a model of excellence in any area of life. Whether it’s business, marketing, sales, and finding out how they do what they do. And really, we say that, if someone else can do it, then we can, as well.
Joe: It’s somewhat the mental model that you create. If I want to use a current state situation for myself, if I’m starting to think about NLP, I’m thinking of that mental model that I’ve created for myself, about a certain circumstance.
Tom: Yes, it’s really about beginning to unpick how we do anything in life. In terms of how we think, how we feel. In terms of our emotional state, in terms of the actions that we take, in terms of what we say to ourselves, and what we say to other people. It’s really about finding someone who does things in the best possible way that we’d like to do the similar things. Say, for example, it’s an expert salesperson. You’d be finding out how they do that. How do they make the sale? And beginning to find out how they use their physiology, how they use their voice. Even, what are their beliefs? What do they believe about the person they’re selling to, what do they believe about their product? We say, that if we can find out all of the stuff that goes on inside of that person’s head, and outside, then we can achieve far better results, more quickly.
Joe: So with an organization looking at that, they may take one of their model salespeople, or one of those salespeople that does well, and really look at how they accomplish that. And we’re breaking things down, not so much by processes, but actual techniques, or techniques that person used, as a person. Is that a way to describe it?
Tom: Absolutely, it’s not just in terms of external things that they do, but also in terms of how they think. How they manage their emotional state. It’s looking in terms of cutting out the things that aren’t useful. So, the 80/20 rule, the Pareto principle, is finding out, what is that 20% that the experts do, that other people don’t? And what is the key 20% that they’re doing that, if we can do similar things, we can achieve better results, more quickly?
Joe: Well, if I’m sitting there, and I’m looking at this salesperson, or anyone in an organization, even a manager, or a front line person on the floor that does exceedingly well in a certain area. It’s really that mental model that he’s created for himself, that we’re trying to break down a little bit. We’re just not talking mind?wise, but we’re using all of our senses? We kind of look at it as, not just what they talk about, but the feel, the touch, the smell. All the things we look at, because that’s really what determines…I’m going to use a word, here, that’s been popular, lately… determines their flow, on what they really create and do.
Tom: Yeah, absolutely. For example, if I asked you to think about a holiday that you’ve been on recently, you might get pictures in your mind, you might hear sounds, you might get feelings of what that was like. And it’s a similar thing if we’re buying something. If you go into a shop, and, say, you’re looking for a new shirt. You go into the shop, you might see some shirts that look like a great color, you might go over and feel the material, and you might begin to consider the price. You might go through a series of steps, internally, and also externally. When we start to understand those steps that we go through, we can use those much more effectively. For example, if I know that someone has a strategy for making a decision, where they have to see something first, then hear something about it, I’d show them about the product first, then I’d tell them about it. Basically, we like to do things in a certain order, and in terms of decisions, if we can find the order and sequence that that person tends to make decisions in, we can help them to make a decision much more quickly.
Joe: Oh, that’s a great concept. Because really it’s just as much NLP, it’s just not so much just about you and developing yourself, it’s about understanding others.
Tom: A lot of it is about understanding other people. And a lot of NLP is putting together techniques and strategies, from modeling expert communicators, experts in different fields. There’s a bunch of techniques NLP teaches, that are things that have already been modeled from experts. Part of NLP is teaching the techniques that you can use with yourself, and other people, that have already been modeled from expert communicators, and experts in change. But the other part is actually how to model other experts. We could go into an organization, find the top salesperson, and begin to elicit how they’re doing what they do.
Joe: When NLP is used, and it’s just not, as we just said there, it’s just not a self-help thing, you use it in organizational development, and a much wider scope. Can you give me an example how organizations will use it?
Tom: I mean, a lot of what I do is in some coaching sort of, executives or going and running training for organizations. So, it might be sort of running an even if it’s a team building course or a leadership course, we’re often just running a standard sort of soft skills training, we’re looking a lot deeper in terms of, what are the deeper underlying structures to how this person thinks, how they behave, you know, even how they manage their emotions, which essentially, you can get better results more quickly. So, I think a lot of training works at quite a superficial level. It teaches you a lot of techniques. But NLP looks at underlying principles, for essentially, how we operate as people, and how we interact in terms of a system, how we affect other people.
I used it in a lot of different areas in organizations as part of going in and doing other training or coaching, but it lets me go in at a much deeper level.
Joe: One of the analogies that I can use, that I’m thinking about is, learning to see. One of the best classes I ever took was an art class. To learn to draw has a lot to do with on how well you see.
You begin to notice things, and you know, just drawing a person, their nose, their lips, and the shadows and the different things like that. Where, with NLP, training in NLP kind of sounds like then, all of a sudden, it really helps me to “see” what the other person’s about a little bit.
Tom: I mean, one of the principles we talk about in NLP is something that says, the map is not the territory, which basically says, the words are not the items that they represent. Say you’ve got a map of the city, you look at the map, and there’s, like, contours marked on the map that represent hills. There might be a cross for a church. But, just looking at the map, you have no idea about what that place really looks like. But, in your mind, you might picture something. When you go there, what you experience may be very different from the picture you have in your mind. It’s the same that, all of us in life, we have very different maps of the world. According to how we were brought up, the sort of childhood we had, the experiences that we had, we have very different beliefs, and very different experiences that we’ve formed this internal map of the world on. When we start to communicate with someone else, two people might use the same word, but they mean completely different things.
Joe: My objective with NLP could be developing the ability to ask deeper questions to really determine what my customer, for example, values.
Tom: Yeah, say for example I’m working with somebody, and somebody says they want to be successful. Now, no two people have the same idea of what success means. So, it’s really about finding the deeper level of what success means to them. Then we also look at the drives in terms of, what drives our behaviors. So, what really motivates us to do the things that we do? Again, taking sort of a sales analogy, in terms of a salesperson who gets results, they’re going to be driven by some underlying motivation, what really drives them in the first place?
For example, doing some sort of sales, they’ll get on the telephone, after one or two no’s, they just give up. But other people, they just keep going. So, what makes the difference between someone who has that resilience and someone who kind of gives up at the first hurdle?
Joe: I’ve also noticed that you have a new program called “Mindjacking,” coming out. What is that about, sales and marketing?
Tom: “Mindjacking” is really about pitching and presenting. The idea is that, we put together a series of techniques from NLP, but also from other areas, which really looks at how to get the most out of your presentation skills, how to pitch well. In terms of pitching, it could be when a person I’ve written a program with is an expert in advertising. So, they have to go in to pitch to organizations a lot. The key thing is how you can actually put something across in the best possible way to get the results you want. ‘It might be just going in for an interview, if there’re 15 people going for the same interview, what makes the other person select the person that they choose? “Mindjacking’s” is all about how to basically put yourself across in the best way to get the results that you want.
Joe: My idea of marketing is you have to build on a value stream; you have to understand the customer decision process. That’s how you determine how you counter with your marketing, and what type of marketing you do. Is that very similar to what you would profess for an NLP marketing person to do?
Tom: The first thing we always start with is building rapport. Rapport is all about finding a connection with the other person. It’s really about finding a similarity. The first way to get that buy-in from the other person is, to build on that sense of rapport, to have that sense of, kind of, maybe a sense of trust or a sense of understanding. Then it’s a question of putting across what we’re doing in the right way for that person. I should talk about, as I talked about a little bit earlier, it might be that, you know, somebody that we’re marketing to, or somebody that we’re selling to, or even in terms of an interview situation, the person we’re communicating with might be much more apt to making pictures inside of their heads. For somebody else, it’s more about the way things sound. To somebody else, it’s actually about the way things feel. So, it’s about finding out, you know, how that person represents the world internally. And if we can kind of match that, we’re going to get a much better results.
Joe: When you talk about “Mindjacking” with doing presentations and things, now, do you back off then, you’re not looking at individuals, but then you’re kind of looking at whom you’re talking to, the group you’re talking to, and what they’re values are, and what they want out of the presentation, let’s say?
Tom: Yeah, I mean, that’s, certainly if we’re talking to a group of people, that’s going to be a totally different matter. It’s like; the interesting thing we talked about in “Mindjacking” is how you actually build rapport with a group of people. We’re just speaking to a group of people if people from different organizations, they may have very different values. So, the question is, how do we build rapport with a group of people? How do we influence and motivate a group of people? Part of that comes from finding the group leaders in the group. Which, it’s pretty fascinating, but when you look at a group of people, if you’re speaking to a group of people, you’ve probably noticed that, when you look around the group, certain people seem to be sitting, or moving in similar ways, that, you know, maybe several people have got their legs crossed. Several people have got their arms crossed in a similar way. And you notice that, when somebody moves, the movement seems to be initiated by somebody unconsciously. If you can notice who starts off this unconscious movement, start to build rapport with them, you can very quickly build rapport with the whole group.
Part of this, which I think NLP kind of makes a distinction that most people don’t, which is, we can build rapport through matching physiology. So, say, for example, someone’s leaning forwards, would lean forwards in a similar way, or, if someone’s got their arms or legs crossed, we’re going to cross our arms or legs. It’s looking at how we can build rapport through common things between us, not just in terms of language or values, but even at a physiological level.
Joe: We’re doing this on the fly, these techniques we’re just not going to notice this in the audience, and apply these techniques?
Tom: Well, I mean, it takes a lot of practice to do some of this. I mean, in terms of being able to spot the sort of unconscious group leaders, first of all, even before you do that, you need to be able to stand in front of a group and manage how you’re feeling, which, for many people, is a major thing. I mean, I think public speaking was rated as one of the biggest fears in the Western world. I think someone said that more people are afraid of public speaking than death. This is a pretty amazing sort of statistic. So, in terms of actually just getting up in front of a group of people and feeling relaxed and feeling comfortable is a major thing, which, again, is another part of what we teach in the program, which is, how you can actually manage how you’re feeling, so you can stand in front of a group, feel the way you want to. If you’re feeling nervous, if you’re feeling anxious, that’s going to come across when you’re standing in front of a group. So, it’s all about how you manage your states, and then, when you’re feeling relaxed, you can begin to notice the patterns in your audience, and communicate with them in a way that you can tell is being received in the way that you want it to be.
Joe: And you mentioned the other part of “Mindjacking” was pitches. Could you expand on that a little bit?
Tom: In terms of pitches, for example, the way that we initially started this was aiming at advertising organizations because the colleague that I’ve made the product with, he works in advertising. So the idea is, you might have people, he put together this incredible advertising pitch. You might spend weeks planning this whole pitch, but when you actually get in to do the pitch, again, it’s like, how do you actually win it? Because it’s not just what you say. In fact, what you say is probably less important than how you say it. I think that’s one of the things that we emphasize, is that, it’s not just what you do, but it’s how you do it. For example, if I said, “It’s great to meet you.” It’s different if I said, “It’s…great. To meet you.” You know, just the way that I say it, has a completely different impact.
In terms of pitching, it looks at, how you put it across, not just what you say. If you’ve got five people pitching for the same service, you’re pitching for the same client, then what’s going to make the difference between selecting that one person. It’s really how you build rapport with that group, how you build rapport with the key decision makers, and how you put across your pitch in a way that really appeals to them.
Joe: How does someone get started with NLP?
Tom: I mean, I don’t know what it’s like in the states, but in the UK, if you go to NLP into Google, you’ll come up with literally, probably, hundreds of different places teaching NLP. I mean, NLP has really kind of boomed in the UK in such a huge way. Which, that’s good and bad. In terms of the good things, the good thing is, a lot of people are talking about NLP over here, a lot of people kind of experiencing that it can be very effective. The bad side is this: because it’s become so commercial recently, you’ve got a lot of people that are running courses that haven’t really got much experience, may not have been trained properly themselves, so I think this may have been what happened in the States, is that, a lot of people learned NLP, but because it became very commercial very quickly, the quality of teaching often became very poor, and, as a result, people didn’t get the full effectiveness.
It’s really about finding a place that teaches NLP in a right way so that you can learn it and get results. ‘Clearly, if you’re learning something like NLP, there’s no point in doing it unless you’re learning it properly because it just won’t work. The real challenge is finding a place that’s going to give you quality training, and give you the experience that you want.
Joe: Would you recommend trying to learn NLP from a book or on your own?
Tom: No, I think one of the things with NLP is that, you can read it in a book, but until you go through a training experience, you really haven’t experienced it. What you read in a book is the what. What’s most important is the how, so it’s actually how you put it into practice. You can read the techniques, and I have loads of people who come to my courses, who have read all the books, they’ve listened to CDs, but when they come on the course, suddenly, it completely transforms their experience. Suddenly, they’re able to get results that they just couldn’t do from reading a book. I think it’s really NLP is very experiential. It’s about; it’s being involved in practically putting these techniques into practice with other people.
Joe: Would you call it a self-help type of training?
Tom: I think NLP operates at different levels. The first part is self-help. Only 10 or 15 percent of people who come to the courses originally do it for self-help. Everybody who comes into the course finds that by the end of the training, it has transformed themselves as well. I think the thing is that, whether, if you’re using this in business, say, for example, in communication, the first thing you need to do is look at, how you communicate with yourself. So, what’s going on inside? Unless you’re aware of your own communication, you’re not going to be able to influence other people at a deep enough level.
I think the most important thing is that, whatever you do NLP for, the first part is always self-development. I’d say that most people come to my courses because they want to use skills in business, they want to use skills in coaching, in marketing, in sales, or I have a lot of people as well, come to the course who want to apply these principles in sports coaching, or in terms of getting better results in performance. The tools you use can be very generic, but you can apply them to all different areas.
Joe: Why do you think it’s been, let’s say, controversial in psychotherapy and different organizational change groups? It’s never made mainstream, and taught in academics has it?
Tom: Well, I mean, I’ve heard it, that it’s, that modules in NLP have been taught at quite a few universities, certainly in the UK. I’ve heard that at quite a few universities in the States, there are little modules in NLP that are taught, but I think there are a few issues with that. First of all, one of the issues, as I mentioned earlier, was that NLP has become so commercial that a lot of the quality of teachings are really pretty poor. So, unfortunately, people coming from a course won’t have the best experience because they haven’t really been taught it properly. When people get a negative experience, then, people often talk about what didn’t work, more than what did work.
The other side to it, as well, is this: NLP, because it looks at what works, it tries to make the process a lot quicker. I think, traditionally, ’cause I’m also a psychologist, and traditionally, I think, in psychology, a lot of the approaches, like Freudian approaches, they think that change has to be slow, it has to take a lot of time. Essentially, suddenly this new approach comes in that completely counters what everybody else says, it’s highly controversial. And, some people don’t like the fact that something that’s been traditionally the way of doing it has been challenged.
I think it’s the same in organizations. You probably see in a lot of big organizations that they’ve been doing something the way they’ve been doing it for years and years, and suddenly, a new approach comes in that really could make things a lot more successful more quickly. Initially, that approach is cast aside and disputed as something that may be one of these things that doesn’t really get the results that you want.
But in my experience, I’ve worked with thousands of people, and I’ve really seen that, so many people get excellent results with NLP, that’s, I think that people really have to learn it properly to get the results. That’s really the thing, is just finding the right place to learn at, so you can get the results that you want.
Joe: Would it be unfair to term NLP as a kind of the system process for your mind?
Tom: Well, I mean, in terms of NLP, some people have described it as the user’s guide to the brain. There was a classic book in NLP, I think, by Bandler, who was one of the founders of NLP, and he wrote a book called, “The User’s Guide to the Brain” which is all about NLP. When we were born, we didn’t get a handbook about how to use our brain, but our brain is probably the most amazing computer that could ever be created. We go to school, certainly in the UK, I don’t know what it’s like in the States, but, we were never taught communication skills. Like, how do you get the most out of your communication? How do you manage how you’re feeling? How do you be more in control of how you’re thinking?
NLP comes along, and it really explores, how can you take control of how you think? How can you take control of how you feel? How can you get better results of your communication? You could definitely think about it as a sort of user’s guide to the brain.
Joe: How would I distinguish a good trainer from a bad trainer?
Tom: Well, I mean, this is a problem which is, you know, it’s quite a challenge. I think one of the things is, look for somebody who has good experience. What I’ve seen a lot of the time now, I’ve seen people advertising courses where, they’ve become a trainer of NLP, and six months ago, they’d never even heard of NLP. So, I think in terms of someone who’s going to do it properly, they’re going to want to have had some years’ experience working with individuals, working with organizations, and also have done considerable training themselves. I think that’s probably why NLP’s sometimes got a bad name, is that it is possible to start putting out your own courses, because NLP isn’t properly regulated, and it’s possible to start running these courses after very minimal training. Really, to get results, you still do need to have very good training, very good experience.
It’s looking for someone who’s been doing it for some time, finding someone who’s part of an association that’s well respected. Like, here in the UK, there’s an organization called the International NLP Trainers Association, INLPTA. Basically, they put standards in place for having longer training, with higher quality of training. If you go to an INLPTA trainer, then you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a much better quality of training in NLP. I don’t know exactly, in the States, what the organizations are there. There are many organizations around, but it’s really finding one where people have got considerable experience and really good quality training.
Joe: I’ve seen where NLP has been linked to hypnosis. Is that a common procedure?
Tom: Well, one of the people that NLP was originally modeled from was Milton Erickson. And Milton Erickson was a psychiatrist, and a hypnotherapist, in the United States. He would get incredible results with clients. In the early years of NLP, they modeled how he got his results. It is true that hypnosis is often tied up with hypnosis. In terms of the training, itself, you don’t have to teach hypnosis in the training, although some of the techniques that you learn do involve some sort of hypnotic elements. In any sort of Mindjacking program that I teach, and also the NLP, a portion of the training is teaching hypnotic language patterns. But in terms of hypnosis, it’s not like a hypnosis that you see on television, or in stage shows…
Joe: That you’re going to click your fingers, and I’m going to act like a chicken, or something, right?
Tom: That’s right. You’re not going to start jumping up and down, or doing weird things. It’s nothing like that. It’s more, in terms of what we said of hypnosis, is we said it’s a state of deep, focused concentration, deep, and focused relaxation. Where, basically, you get more in touch with your inner resources, and you can basically tap into your inner potential, more fully. It’s really nothing sort of what most people think hypnosis is.
Joe: Would I be wrong in saying it’s more like meditation, mixed with some positive affirmations?
Tom: I think, definitely the state is probably close to meditation for many people. It’s a state where you’re deeply relaxed. We might use positive affirmations, but in terms of what we do with the hypnosis and NLP, often it’s following sets of visualizations, or just running through things in your mind, in a different way.
Joe: If I wanted to get started in NLP with a book, is there a book you’d recommend? Or something you would recommend for me, just to get my feet wet?
Tom: The original books on NLP are probably still some of the best. There is a book called “Frogs into Princes,” which was by Bandler and Grinder, who are two founders of NLP. There’s “The Structure of Magic”, which is another classic NLP book, that’s very, very good. As a simple introduction to NLP, there’s a book called “The Dummies Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming.” I’ve read that, and that’s a pretty good book, as well. But certainly, the original Bandler, Sir Richard Bandler and John Grinder books, those are probably some of the best, detailed information that you can get on the fundamental structures of NLP.
Joe: Has NLP changed much, from these original writings?
Tom: Well, I think the fundamental techniques and principles are still the core of NLP. But since those days, NLP has expanded in many different ways, around the world. People have modeled other kinds of experts, other people in different fields. So I think there’s been a lot that’s been added to NLP. That’s another thing as well is that, if you train in different places, the course could be almost completely different. It’s quite a challenge to find a consistency in NLP. As I mentioned earlier, we have this organization in the UK, which I think is also a worldwide organization, INLPTA. Which has basically tried to standardize some of the syllabus for NLP, it’s looking at making sure that people are learning similar things, wherever you are.
Joe: Can you explain the way you introduce it and how you train in NLP?
Tom: The first thing is that before I got into training NLP, I sat on about five to six different practitioner courses, five or six different master practitioner courses. Each of those courses, like a practitioner course, the original one I did last 20 days; the master practitioner was another 20 days. I have done about five or six each of those in different places around the world. So I’ve kind of, I have looked at different structures where the things seemed to work and the things that didn’t work.
Over the last 20 years, basically I’ve kind of I’ve looked really in detail after each training and thinking what worked, what didn’t work to get best results. When I run a course, I’d say that pretty much everyone gets great results in the course. If I have looked at other courses, I’ve noticed that it doesn’t seem to always have that high level of results.
I think it’s really about after time and experiences finding out what really works, and how you teach people the techniques and principles so that they can apply it in their own lives very quickly.
I’d say I have a real passion for teaching. I have a real passion for sharing this information with people. And I think in terms of what really makes the difference is being able to pick upon what you do, and again it’s finding that 20% of things that actually works. It is kind of picking parts that 80?20 rule, what are the key pieces that you are teaching that really get the results. How you can put things across in a way that people can understand most easily.
Basically my model itself isn’t so much commercial. It’s more in terms of working with the individuals. So what really drives me is seeing people change. That’s the thing that I get the most passion from.
Joe: Is there measurable results that you can sit there and say this is what we can hope to achieve and achieve by instituting or practicing NLP?
Tom: Whenever we start teaching NLP one of the first things we do is an outcome setting kind of model which basically looks at where you are now which we call your present state, and where you want to get to which is your desired state. We say that basically that way to get your desired is going to find the resources that will help you get that. Because the only that is stopping you from getting to where you want to be is currently the lack of resources.
Often these resources might be internal like confidence, motivation. It could be strategies to finding out the things that work best. So once we go into an organization and we set the kind of the very, very clear and specific outcome, we can set a very good time frame for how to get there.
One of the biggest things that it is down to is the individual of the organization. I think going somewhere, and we can work on a schedule that essentially would definitely help the person get there in the timescale. At the end of the day what really makes the difference does the person actually take responsibility for their doing. I have worked with people, and they seem very, very enthusiastic but a week goes by, and they haven’t actually taken action on the steps we talked about.
I think one of the keys is that we can say very precisely if you can afford the steps you can get these sorts of results. But at the end of the day the key thing is the commitment from the individual of the organization.
Joe: Are you familiar with the John Boyd’s OODA loop or some of them conversations, he had been on my podcast recently?
Tom: No, not actually, no. That’s something I’d like to look into.
Joe: The reason I bring that up because a lot of what he had structured, the OODA loop is really a decision-making process and the orientation part of it seems to me to have some basis in NLP actually. That there seems to be a lot of familiarity in that area, it’s adjusting your mental model. It is a systems type thinking where you are adjusting your mental model to the surrounding environment, and how quickly that you adapt is the ability whether you win or not (he was a fighter pilot).
I think that’s what I hear resonate from you, is that recognizing, just the recognition of what your mental model is, and what may be the other guy’s mental model is that recognition is the key point, so NLP gives you a much, in a business standpoint, superior advantage over someone that isn’t as savvy, that maybe doesn’t recognize these states as well.
Tom: I think that’s a very good way of putting it, which, like you said, it’s, NLP really is, fundamentally, about exploring the mental models. There’s one technique in NLP which we call “Triple Description, ” or another name for it is, “Perceptual Positions”, where, when we’re exploring communication with somebody else, we want to take on three different positions. The first position is, basically, your own perspective. So, it’s like, knowing what you want, which a lot of people are very clear about, but, as well as knowing what you want, you have to know what’s going on with the other person.
So, we talk about “Second Position”. The second position, that’s really entering into the other person’s world. What you want to do with that is, it’s almost like you pretend you’re an actor, and you can step into that person. It’s beyond just imagining what they want, but it’s really kind of imagining that you are them. You’ve probably heard the expression, “To know somebody, you need to able to walk a mile in their moccasins.” It’s really taking on board, if we can imagine actually being that person and particularly in situations where there’s some sort of conflict or hostility, where we feel we can’t get through to this person. If you can imagine what’s going on for them, you can get some real discoveries.
A client of mine in business, they thought that their boss just didn’t like them, that they thought they were useless. They imagined stepping into the boss’s shoes, and they suddenly found that the person whom they were working with, when they imagined being them, they suddenly felt their job was being threatened. So, it was actually this other person, who was in the experience of feeling that they’re being threatened by this new kind of person who came in, and had all of these great ideas. It changed the perspective of someone who was just a bully, to someone who was actually feeling quite vulnerable, it completely transformed the communication. So, that’s sort of the second position is when you kind of imagine being the other person.
“Third position” in NLP, we talk about the external viewpoint. That is where you can stand back and imagine seeing both people in the communication, and noting the patterns of interaction between them. One of the most powerful things in NLP is that, when you can flip between these different positions, you have an incredible perspective at being able to see how communication operates at very deep levels.
Joe: In your NLP training, how do you normally present it to people? Do you do webinars, do you do live training, typically, or, how do you first present it, Tom?
Tom: Well, up until recently, all of my training has been live. So, it’s basically been face to face. I’m looking at putting on webinars in the near future, because, I mean, that seems to be something that more and more people are interested in. I really enjoy doing live training, because you get people in the classroom. You can interact, you know, physically, with the person. But in terms of webinars, that is something I’m probably going to be doing over the next six months.
Joe: Do you think NLP can be applied to webinars?
Tom: Well, I think you can learn a lot from webinars. However, of the things is while is it, you need to have a group of people to practice the things with. As technology becomes more and more advanced, in terms of, you know, better video feeds, if you have that real interaction, live, and you can have a group of people in a classroom, even if you’re remote from them, you can probably still get very good results. Personally, I think you’re always going to get the best, well, I’d think you’d get the best results if you can actually go to a classroom, take part in a good quality NLP training, live.
Joe: How can someone get a hold of you? What’s your website, and what’s the normal contact way?
Tom: Well, my website, is www.mackaynlpsolutions.coda.UK, that’s M?A?C?K?A?Y, I say that because, more recently, a couple of years ago, someone started another website, which is almost identical name. So, it’s just, make sure you put the M A C K in the website name. And that’s the way, it’s got all of my information. It’s got courses, it’s got general information on NLP there, and from that, you know, I’ve got a contact form, there’re telephone numbers. That’s basically, usually the first point of contact.
Joe: When is “Mindjacking” coming out?
Tom: “Mindjacking”, we’ve made the program, we just need to edit it. So, I’d say “Mindjacking” will be out within the next four months. I’ll put full details of that on my website, as well.
Joe: Is there any live events that you’ll be having shortly, or participating in?
Tom: I put on an NLP practitioner course every three months. We run regular high-level courses throughout the year as well, so, probably each month I’m running, 14 days of training.
Joe: Is there anything else you’d like to add to this conversation that maybe I didn’t ask, about you or NLP?
Tom: One of the things that’re really challenging is trying to describe, what is NLP in the first place? Which, because NLP covers so many different areas, it’s like, you know, when people come on a course that’s seven or 15 days, you cover so many different things, that when someone says, “What’s NLP all about?”, it’s almost impossible to know where to start. I mean, on NLP training, we look at things we’ve talked about, which is like, communication skills, building rapport. We also have a lot of stuff about, you know, in terms of how the mind works, how you can change what you do in your mind to get better results. Whether it’s feeling more motivated or whether it’s getting over a phobia, like, there’s a technique in NLP that will help you get rid of a phobia in about 10 to 20 minutes. And it’s highly effective. There are different techniques we teach which regards to getting over, in a conflict, how to negotiate better.
I mean, really, there are so many different parts in NLP that, trying to put it across to somebody is very, very difficult in a short space of time. And, I’d really encourage people to go out there and start to read some books in it. I think that’s like you talked about, is probably become a little less popular in the States at the moment, but I think there’re huge amounts of potential for where NLP can be taken. So, I’d just really encourage people to go out there and just start to read about it.
Joe: One of the key areas that I think that I come out of this conversation with is the ability to recognize and notice others. I go back to that art analogy and from that perspective it really does allow you to start noticing your surroundings better.
Tom: I think, in terms of, whatever it is, whether it’s sales, whether it’s communication, negotiation, whether it’s in terms of, even with students like, learning to spell, to be able to do these skills, you have to have that inner awareness of, what’s really behind the ability to do that? I think NLP can really help you get that understanding of that deeper need to develop those sorts of distinctions, in whatever area of life we’re working in.
Joe: I would like to thank you very much, Tom, for being on the podcast. I will have the podcast posted up on business901 blog site, but it’ll also be available on business901 on iTunes store, so I’d like to thank you very much, Tom.
Tom: That’s nice, and I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. Thank you.
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